










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 413 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 137 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1476 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,603 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1080 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1170 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1081 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1272 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $367,329 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 247 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | exile,? | 88% | 8 |
| #2 | pear$ | 78% | 9 |
| #3 | >.< | 76% | 38 |
| #4 | Silic0n | 68% | 22 |
| #5 | aliStair | 60% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | >.< | 76% | 38 |
| #4 | Silic0n | 68% | 22 |
| #5 | aliStair | 60% | 52 |
| #6 | Gratisfaction | 56% | 9 |
| #7 | viridian | 56% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pear$ | 1 | 0.0093 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | >.< | 270 | 0.32 | 7 min |
| #2 | aliStair | 231 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #3 | Gratisfaction | 50 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #4 | viridian | 46 | 0.33 | 1 min |
| #5 | Silic0n | 40 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gratisfaction | +4.82 | 88 | 74 |
| #2 | aliStair | +4.36 | 94 | 67 |
| #3 | exile,? | +4.26 | 95 | 62 |
| #4 | >.< | +4.01 | 84 | 60 |
| #5 | viridian | +2.18 | 81 | 83 |





