








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 113 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 127 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1405 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,375 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1096 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1923 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 1243 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1113 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $509,257 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 113 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Trash Man | 65% | 65 |
| #2 | Nyo Foxo | 61% | 31 |
| #3 | Tam | 58% | 12 |
| #4 | T-80BVM | 57% | 21 |
| #5 | ✪ No»⭐️«Carry | 52% | 127 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Tam | 58% | 12 |
| #4 | T-80BVM | 57% | 21 |
| #5 | ✪ No»⭐️«Carry | 52% | 127 |
| #6 | Emub | 48% | 50 |
| #7 | Sir Cancerlot | 47% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Trash Man | 12 | 0.0092 |
| #2 | Sir Cancerlot | 8 | 0.0120 |
| #3 | Emub | 6 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | Nyo Foxo | 6 | 0.0095 |
| #5 | ✪ No»⭐️«Carry | 5 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ No»⭐️«Carry | 345 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #2 | Emub | 149 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | Mr. Trash Man | 145 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Nyo Foxo | 94 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | T-80BVM | 35 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Trash Man | +5.62 | 87 | 56 |
| #2 | Emub | +5.10 | 87 | 64 |
| #3 | T-80BVM | +2.53 | 82 | 59 |
| #4 | Sir Cancerlot | +2.44 | 84 | 43 |
| #5 | ✪ No»⭐️«Carry | +0.45 | 54 | 66 |





