








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 182 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 196 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2786 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,126 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3293 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4519 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 3052 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1262 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $627,084 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1063 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Trash Man | 64% | 42 |
| #2 | T-80BVM | 59% | 41 |
| #3 | Sir Cancerlot | 56% | 52 |
| #4 | Tiny Tim | 52% | 127 |
| #5 | Emub | 50% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Tiny Tim | 52% | 127 |
| #5 | Emub | 50% | 104 |
| #6 | Mr man | 49% | 82 |
| #7 | Vexxed | 46% | 24 |
| #8 | KEVVNNN | 45% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr man | 14 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | Sir Cancerlot | 14 | 0.0146 |
| #3 | Emub | 12 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | Mr. Trash Man | 7 | 0.0085 |
| #5 | T-80BVM | 3 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr man | 351 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #2 | Emub | 206 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | Tiny Tim | 182 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | T-80BVM | 86 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Mr. Trash Man | 85 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Emub | +3.90 | 84 | 56 |
| #2 | Mr. Trash Man | +3.73 | 82 | 52 |
| #3 | Sir Cancerlot | +3.49 | 81 | 40 |
| #4 | T-80BVM | +3.26 | 87 | 65 |
| #5 | Vexxed | +1.88 | 85 | 66 |





