








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 768 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 184 matches | ||
| Premier | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4192 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,722 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1128 | 9% |
| Smokes | 5744 | 45% |
| HE Grenades | 3969 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1881 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $598,963 of utility $54 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 769 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | decypheR | 69% | 51 |
| #2 | Izz | 57% | 61 |
| #3 | Keifer | 57% | 122 |
| #4 | David | 53% | 32 |
| #5 | AL_stair | 49% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Keifer | 8 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Ash | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Jesus | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Izz | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | AL_stair | 1 | 0.0005 |





