








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 63 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1920 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,499 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 665 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1563 | 45% |
| HE Grenades | 441 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 830 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $602,123 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BP225 | 57% | 14 |
| #2 | LONK | 50% | 14 |
| #3 | Mig | 46% | 107 |
| #4 | Jar | 44% | 43 |
| #5 | Papa John | 43% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aisrey | 3 | 0.0141 |
| #2 | Mig | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Papa John | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mercury Sulfide | +2.38 | 76 | 53 |
| #2 | LONK | +1.03 | 77 | 57 |
| #3 | Mig | -0.62 | 67 | 55 |
| #4 | Papa John | -0.79 | 60 | 63 |
| #5 | BP225 | -1.55 | 53 | 31 |





