








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 100 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 133 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1616 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,407 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1045 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1838 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1800 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1724 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $898,041 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 53 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LONK | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | Papa John | 50% | 32 |
| #3 | Mercury Sulfide | 46% | 107 |
| #4 | Jar | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LONK | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | Papa John | 50% | 32 |
| #3 | Mercury Sulfide | 46% | 107 |
| #4 | Jar | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mercury Sulfide | 4 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mercury Sulfide | 126 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #2 | Papa John | 102 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | LONK | 16 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #4 | Jar | 5 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mercury Sulfide | +1.97 | 74 | 54 |
| #2 | LONK | +1.31 | 71 | 61 |
| #3 | Mig | +0.13 | 67 | 54 |
| #4 | Papa John | -1.81 | 52 | 59 |
| #5 | Jar | -4.91 | 52 | 22 |





