








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 391 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 412 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 114 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4833 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,403 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3252 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4451 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2892 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2808 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,463,170 of utility $245 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 926 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m1st | 60% | 25 |
| #2 | jjj | 55% | 49 |
| #3 | Piesso | 53% | 60 |
| #4 | Stray | 53% | 32 |
| #5 | Thu | 52% | 199 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .s | 12 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | TتmmyMAn☭ | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Thu | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | -StraightJAM | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Piesso | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .s | 1240 | 0.25 | 35 min |
| #2 | Thu | 709 | 0.17 | 18 min |
| #3 | -StraightJAM | 635 | 0.20 | 18 min |
| #4 | TتmmyMAn☭ | 179 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | Piesso | 152 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thu | +2.97 | 83 | 61 |
| #2 | Stray | +2.07 | 71 | 71 |
| #3 | AmNest1C | +1.00 | 86 | 40 |
| #4 | -StraightJAM | +0.31 | 54 | 70 |
| #5 | jjj | +0.20 | 39 | 79 |





