








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 313 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 499 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 92 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




166 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11061 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,508 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7044 | 40% |
| Smokes | 2272 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 3690 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4502 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $963,534 of utility $64 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 936 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | _Hiru | 65% | 43 |
| #9 | piwi | 63% | 272 |
| #10 | DⱫ₳ddy 𝐌ɛch♛ | 62% | 47 |
| #11 | Concabar | 61% | 38 |
| #12 | KMaster | 55% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | piwi | 88 | 0.0161 |
| #2 | KMaster | 35 | 0.0192 |
| #3 | Kai | 14 | 0.0078 |
| #4 | Flame™ | 8 | 0.0059 |
| #5 | ₽huck CS2 | 7 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | piwi | 722 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #2 | KMaster | 313 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #3 | ₽huck CS2 | 225 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | Kai | 126 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | d1FFzZ_ | 116 | 0.14 | 3 min |





