








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 390 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 139 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2257 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,571 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2573 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1875 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1830 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1293 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $857,306 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 192 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TuheroMasiina | 53% | 66 |
| #2 | Pyykinpesukone 90 | 48% | 69 |
| #3 | Jyyner | 47% | 138 |
| #4 | Vin Kiissel | 47% | 94 |
| #5 | Castus | 46% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Mueller | 43% | 46 |
| #10 | Hezzuu | 43% | 56 |
| #11 | Jäätelöhyllyn Johtaja | 42% | 36 |
| #12 | Teukka. | 40% | 50 |
| #13 | nepsu | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | paska läjä | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | Vin Kiissel | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Pyykinpesukone 90 | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | TuheroMasiina | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | jaakko | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Teukka. | 275 | 0.26 | 10 min |
| #2 | Hezzuu | 265 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #3 | TuheroMasiina | 173 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | Vin Kiissel | 166 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | paska läjä | 141 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pyykinpesukone 90 | +3.04 | 77 | 69 |
| #2 | TuheroMasiina | +2.41 | 85 | 67 |
| #3 | crawiz | +1.75 | 59 | 63 |
| #4 | paska läjä | +0.85 | 83 | 58 |
| #5 | Jyyner | -0.62 | 63 | 73 |





