










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 279 matches | ||
| Wingman | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3455 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,521 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4371 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4083 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4513 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3554 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $633,947 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 316 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h4mY! | 55% | 20 |
| #2 | Huehnersuppe mit Maggi | 53% | 30 |
| #3 | V L X | 50% | 20 |
| #4 | r0nan | 47% | 73 |
| #5 | .W1Ls0N | 46% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | r0nan | 47% | 73 |
| #5 | .W1Ls0N | 46% | 93 |
| #6 | Apfelkuchen | 46% | 78 |
| #7 | lighT ♥ | 41% | 22 |
| #8 | G-Potter | 40% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .W1Ls0N | 6 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Apfelkuchen | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | r0nan | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Huehnersuppe mit Maggi | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | V L X | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Apfelkuchen | 347 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #2 | .W1Ls0N | 268 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | r0nan | 75 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | V L X | 62 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | lighT ♥ | 62 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | V L X | +1.40 | 95 | 60 |
| #2 | G-Potter | +0.96 | 89 | 70 |
| #3 | ✠hAx✠ | +0.40 | 78 | 66 |
| #4 | Apfelkuchen | +0.11 | 54 | 68 |
| #5 | Huehnersuppe mit Maggi | +0.03 | 46 | 57 |





