








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1012 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 538 matches | ||
| Faceit | 147 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 76 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7473 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,757 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6678 | 25% |
| Smokes | 7537 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 6167 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 6375 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,345,242 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 119 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niro | 62% | 101 |
| #2 | pekahjR | 57% | 195 |
| #3 | No$* | 55% | 220 |
| #4 | Marcus | 53% | 77 |
| #5 | Johnny | 52% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | proTo1410#ClashGG | 49% | 153 |
| #12 | DôntWôrRy | 49% | 47 |
| #13 | xBotGunx | 48% | 346 |
| #14 | Faith1n | 47% | 274 |
| #15 | ChuChuras | 46% | 114 |





