








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
914 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,372 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 773 | 33% |
| Smokes | 609 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 502 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 488 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $305,723 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 179 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | pormestari | 54% | 37 |
| #10 | 1ndl | 50% | 8 |
| #11 | BenZamYSS | #EZ4ENCE | 40% | 5 |
| #12 | PIIPPO | 20% | 5 |
| #13 | SANDU | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fripop ❟❛❟ | 6 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | pormestari | 4 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | Kite | 1 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | jukeeeh | 1 | 0.0091 |
| #5 | Lukko4ever | 1 | 0.0099 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fripop ❟❛❟ | 120 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #2 | pormestari | 94 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | Kite | 38 | 0.18 | 0 min |
| #4 | 1ndl | 27 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | Emil | 24 | 0.11 | 1 min |





