








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1223 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 121 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5032 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,895 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2714 | 20% |
| Smokes | 4462 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 4365 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2354 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,351,644 of utility $230 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4462 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | goku marine ✝☪✡ | 1412 | 0.13 | 29 min |
| #2 | fenra | 709 | 0.20 | 18 min |
| #3 | a lg bokeγ | 664 | 0.14 | 18 min |
| #4 | fat baby | 296 | 0.26 | 7 min |
| #5 | endieZ | 237 | 0.07 | 6 min |





