








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 127 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1067 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,848 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 814 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1576 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1498 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 960 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $532,120 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 132 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sea Robin | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | Vulpes | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | Raw_Input | 56% | 50 |
| #4 | never | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | _BIA_ J0K3R | 53% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Raw_Input | 56% | 50 |
| #4 | never | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | _BIA_ J0K3R | 53% | 57 |
| #6 | Juvie_^ | 47% | 15 |
| #7 | The Professor | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | _BIA_ J0K3R | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Raw_Input | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Sea Robin | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | _BIA_ J0K3R | 137 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | Raw_Input | 83 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | Juvie_^ | 33 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Vulpes | 19 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | Sea Robin | 17 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juvie_^ | +1.64 | 74 | 62 |
| #2 | _BIA_ J0K3R | +1.30 | 73 | 51 |
| #3 | never | +1.09 | 68 | 67 |
| #4 | Vulpes | +0.24 | 80 | 47 |
| #5 | Raw_Input | -0.36 | 72 | 60 |





