








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 83 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 80 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
1051 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,386 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 853 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1162 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 825 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 546 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $357,623 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 287 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☭ Villenogger 梦 | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | IEatGlue | 60% | 43 |
| #3 | KiURRY | 56% | 73 |
| #4 | Varm ske (T0by) | 50% | 6 |
| #5 | Ethan | 49% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | IEatGlue | 60% | 43 |
| #3 | KiURRY | 56% | 73 |
| #4 | Varm ske (T0by) | 50% | 6 |
| #5 | Ethan | 49% | 65 |
| #6 | Xistenz | 49% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KiURRY | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Ethan | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Xistenz | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | IEatGlue | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xistenz | 327 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #2 | KiURRY | 138 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | Ethan | 120 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | ☭ Villenogger 梦 | 22 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | IEatGlue | 16 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | glennka | +1.68 | 61 | 61 |
| #2 | Varm ske (T0by) | +1.57 | 85 | 58 |
| #3 | ☭ Villenogger 梦 | +0.42 | 79 | 51 |
| #4 | IEatGlue | +0.37 | 71 | 52 |
| #5 | Xistenz | +0.05 | 42 | 67 |





