








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 66 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
656 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 844 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 217 | 26% |
| Smokes | 164 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 383 | 45% |
| Molotovs | 80 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $209,749 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ahren | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | β€~π¦πΌπ―π―π΄~β€ | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | Mayh3w | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | Xathrid | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | phd in getting scammed | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Xathrid | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | phd in getting scammed | 50% | 6 |
| #6 | Jav | 36% | 33 |
| #7 | Ceeweed | 33% | 6 |
| #8 | ( qᡠᡠᡠq) | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xathrid | 7 | 0.0276 |
| #2 | Ahren | 4 | 0.0242 |
| #3 | Ceeweed | 2 | 0.0167 |
| #4 | Mayh3w | 1 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jav | 51 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #2 | Ahren | 49 | 0.30 | 2 min |
| #3 | ( qᡠᡠᡠq) | 40 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #4 | Mayh3w | 24 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | phd in getting scammed | 17 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | phd in getting scammed | +5.48 | 34 | 72 |
| #2 | Ahren | +5.41 | 60 | 74 |
| #3 | β€~π¦πΌπ―π―π΄~β€ | +2.13 | 63 | 29 |
| #4 | Jav | +0.83 | 48 | 48 |
| #5 | Xathrid | +0.66 | 41 | 47 |





