








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 683 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 478 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4745 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,530 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2440 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4211 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 2935 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1944 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,488,709 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 48 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Exploit | 24 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Mia | 12 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | MrPink | 7 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | chicken wit da stick | 5 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | Dart Monkey | 4 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Exploit | 964 | 0.14 | 24 min |
| #2 | Mia | 422 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #3 | Dart Monkey | 326 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | Meladdiction | 270 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #5 | MrPink | 178 | 0.02 | 4 min |





