








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
267 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,031 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 197 | 19% |
| Smokes | 413 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 287 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 134 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $167,121 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 85 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tab | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | LLokkis | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | ComfyKarma | 60% | 5 |
| #4 | Villewi | 58% | 12 |
| #5 | jusbE | 56% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | psaLadak | 2 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | Kurko | 2 | 0.0108 |
| #3 | Woodey | 1 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Hemis | 1 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | Villewi | 1 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Woodey | 77 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #2 | Paskaraja | 65 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #3 | keripukki | 42 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | psaLadak | 32 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Tab | 23 | 0.12 | 1 min |





