








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 403 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1555 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,033 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 157 | 15% |
| Smokes | 64 | 6% |
| HE Grenades | 586 | 57% |
| Molotovs | 226 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $583,268 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 90 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YoNachoz | 6 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | AMineMasterMind | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | FroggyFreya | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | GlugGlug | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Kat | 3 | 0.0088 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AMineMasterMind | 244 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | GlugGlug | 93 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | PuppyPolexia | 52 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | FroggyFreya | 48 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | YoNachoz | 47 | 0.04 | 2 min |





