








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 109 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1511 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,250 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2050 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2095 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1603 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1502 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $113,461 of utility $30 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JölletinPvP | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | mezi | 50% | 12 |
| #3 | tt0fi (⌐■_■) | 48% | 29 |
| #4 | T0IV3 | 44% | 71 |
| #5 | juusi | 42% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | juusi | 42% | 50 |
| #6 | Tatsab | 42% | 36 |
| #7 | sanny | 39% | 33 |
| #8 | J4nPP1 | 37% | 19 |
| #9 | Leixelz | 36% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | T0IV3 | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | J4nPP1 | 2 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | juusi | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | sanny | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | JölletinPvP | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tt0fi (⌐■_■) | 132 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #2 | juusi | 92 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | T0IV3 | 79 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | sanny | 73 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Tatsab | 61 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sanny | +2.16 | 80 | 58 |
| #2 | juusi | +1.88 | 84 | 68 |
| #3 | mezi | +1.77 | 82 | 58 |
| #4 | tt0fi (⌐■_■) | +0.49 | 55 | 75 |
| #5 | JölletinPvP | +0.12 | 53 | 61 |





