








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 497 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 311 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3195 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,325 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2346 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2940 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1706 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2333 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,633,176 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 535 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Julien | 51% | 73 |
| #2 | facete_ss | 50% | 20 |
| #3 | Old Gregg | 46% | 195 |
| #4 | The Hitch | 44% | 43 |
| #5 | GoJays2025 | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | facete_ss | 50% | 20 |
| #3 | Old Gregg | 46% | 195 |
| #4 | The Hitch | 44% | 43 |
| #5 | GoJays2025 | 41% | 22 |
| #6 | Dad | 35% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Old Gregg | 14 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | The Hitch | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Julien | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | GoJays2025 | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Old Gregg | 720 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #2 | Julien | 153 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | The Hitch | 106 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Dad | 41 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | facete_ss | 19 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | facete_ss | +2.85 | 82 | 65 |
| #2 | PHONKA! | +1.48 | 80 | 51 |
| #3 | Dad | -0.11 | 50 | 40 |
| #4 | GoJays2025 | -0.67 | 42 | 46 |
| #5 | Old Gregg | -0.72 | 68 | 44 |





