








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1104 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 805 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6358 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,926 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 971 | 5% |
| Smokes | 5441 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 12180 | 64% |
| Molotovs | 334 | 2% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,355,124 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 887 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Arnold | 47% | 47 |
| #8 | facete_ss | 46% | 447 |
| #9 | Capayy | 46% | 85 |
| #10 | The Hitch | 46% | 421 |
| #11 | ⭕⃤ | 39% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Hitch | 1118 | 0.12 | 30 min |
| #2 | facete_ss | 652 | 0.07 | 18 min |
| #3 | Arnold | 254 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| #4 | rai™ | 248 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #5 | Laykan | 240 | 0.19 | 7 min |





