








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 25 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 94 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 88 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3029 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,648 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3964 | 37% |
| Smokes | 2595 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1085 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 3004 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $645,264 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 368 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jeremioho | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | okito | 62% | 66 |
| #3 | spxt- | 60% | 42 |
| #4 | meow | 58% | 88 |
| #5 | ✪ Thomas | 52% | 217 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Thomas | 12 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Ugga-Bugga | 11 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Wajja | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | nae nae | 6 | 0.0103 |
| #5 | jeremioho | 5 | 0.0096 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ugga-Bugga | 522 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #2 | ✪ Thomas | 496 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #3 | Wajja | 478 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #4 | nae nae | 164 | 0.28 | 3 min |
| #5 | okito | 139 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Thomas | +4.40 | 86 | 63 |
| #2 | okito | +3.23 | 79 | 65 |
| #3 | jeremioho | +2.33 | 77 | 60 |
| #4 | meow | +0.98 | 64 | 49 |
| #5 | Koro | -0.50 | 65 | 62 |





