








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 945 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 542 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




95 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7031 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,369 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7257 | 32% |
| Smokes | 6933 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3266 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 4913 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,228,057 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1202 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | high confidence player | 50% | 122 |
| #2 | neegru | 48% | 215 |
| #3 | walk the bean | 47% | 154 |
| #4 | ACG Hakuna Matata | 46% | 120 |
| #5 | Mr.Beast | 29% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | high confidence player | 50% | 122 |
| #2 | neegru | 48% | 215 |
| #3 | walk the bean | 47% | 154 |
| #4 | ACG Hakuna Matata | 46% | 120 |
| #5 | Mr.Beast | 29% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ACG Hakuna Matata | 25 | 0.0101 |
| #2 | neegru | 17 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | walk the bean | 14 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | high confidence player | 10 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | Mr.Beast | 10 | 0.0097 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | high confidence player | 824 | 0.32 | 22 min |
| #2 | neegru | 468 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #3 | ACG Hakuna Matata | 442 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #4 | walk the bean | 289 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #5 | Mr.Beast | 115 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | namseng | +3.16 | 75 | 55 |
| #2 | ACG Hakuna Matata | +1.00 | 86 | 63 |
| #3 | high confidence player | +0.25 | 81 | 71 |
| #4 | walk the bean | -0.61 | 45 | 56 |
| #5 | neegru | -1.11 | 72 | 58 |





