








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 251 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1298 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,193 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2350 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1960 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1450 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1433 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $338,474 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 134 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | pattycakes | 43% | 84 |
| #8 | Geeked up and Dangerous | 42% | 90 |
| #9 | Delt__ | 37% | 46 |
| #10 | FaZePhart | 32% | 25 |
| #11 | KyJu | 26% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pattycakes | 20 | 0.0119 |
| #2 | Geeked up and Dangerous | 13 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | Edward T. Fentanyl | 10 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | Delt__ | 8 | 0.0083 |
| #5 | jp | 7 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pattycakes | 192 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | Edward T. Fentanyl | 178 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | jp | 94 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | ShirtlessMatt | 84 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | KyJu | 62 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iCaboose | +5.35 | 81 | 61 |
| #2 | jp | +2.76 | 72 | 52 |
| #3 | dhav | +1.67 | 54 | 58 |
| #4 | pattycakes | +1.18 | 40 | 54 |
| #5 | Geeked up and Dangerous | +0.99 | 65 | 40 |





