








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 230 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2461 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,332 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 505 | 9% |
| Smokes | 420 | 8% |
| HE Grenades | 2408 | 45% |
| Molotovs | 1999 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $685,708 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 150 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ian | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | marteN | 53% | 15 |
| #3 | E0W DIG | 50% | 48 |
| #4 | EHRENLOSER_UWE | 48% | 174 |
| #5 | ThunderSoul | 41% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EHRENLOSER_UWE | 8 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | marteN | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marteN | +3.56 | 68 | 78 |
| #2 | [787] Excel | Andy | +3.37 | 74 | 56 |
| #3 | E0W DIG | +2.11 | 72 | 43 |
| #4 | ian | +0.35 | 75 | 69 |
| #5 | EHRENLOSER_UWE | -2.11 | 36 | 42 |





