










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 169 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 273 matches | ||
| Premier | 208 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 76 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3940 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,065 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3636 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3764 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3725 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3940 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,299,554 of utility $201 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 174 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baluu | 55% | 33 |
| #2 | SpeedTape | 54% | 46 |
| #3 | El Giraff | 52% | 366 |
| #4 | sc1p | 51% | 105 |
| #5 | 🐺Black Alpha🐺 | 51% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♡𝕯4𝖈𝕶3𝖑♡ | 15 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | El Giraff | 11 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Flo | 10 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | killa | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | sc1p | 3 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sc1p | +1.08 | 66 | 70 |
| #2 | Flo | +1.05 | 47 | 82 |
| #3 | Die (mega) FETTE Ricarda Lang | +0.79 | 64 | 59 |
| #4 | El Giraff | +0.52 | 54 | 67 |
| #5 | 🐺Black Alpha🐺 | +0.26 | 67 | 75 |





