








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 618 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
861 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,559 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 732 | 29% |
| Smokes | 482 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 791 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 554 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $237,554 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 180 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tim | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | toilet ananas nasdas | 100% | 6 |
| #3 | MelonCube | 93% | 15 |
| #4 | KEEPZEN | 83% | 6 |
| #5 | fish | 83% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Chris | 67% | 6 |
| #7 | FrenchDoomer | 50% | 4 |
| #8 | Limo | 50% | 4 |
| #9 | ♥ | 33% | 6 |
| #10 | meetsu | 0% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MelonCube | 3 | 0.0108 |
| #2 | Tim | 2 | 0.0270 |
| #3 | Chris | 1 | 0.0088 |
| #4 | Limo | 1 | 0.0119 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fish | 23 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #2 | MelonCube | 13 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #3 | Chris | 11 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #4 | toilet ananas nasdas | 11 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #5 | KEEPZEN | 9 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥ | +11.45 | 66 | 39 |
| #2 | lobotomy enjoyer | +7.42 | 81 | 83 |
| #3 | MelonCube | +3.58 | 81 | 54 |
| #4 | Tim | +3.23 | 89 | 63 |
| #5 | toilet ananas nasdas | +2.85 | 46 | 34 |





