








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 79 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 230 matches | ||
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3851 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,171 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5358 | 38% |
| Smokes | 3734 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1992 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 3087 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $840,338 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StoryWorm | 69% | 36 |
| #2 | V01D_SP4CE | 60% | 35 |
| #3 | CoreDonut | 58% | 182 |
| #4 | Grenadier Elite | 57% | 44 |
| #5 | CamDonk666 | 55% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | 样品 | 53% | 38 |
| #11 | Grilled Cheese man | 50% | 24 |
| #12 | scabsmagooby | 48% | 64 |
| #13 | JakeyPoo | 48% | 143 |
| #14 | lTriplel | 40% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JakeyPoo | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Cammie | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Kels | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | CoreDonut | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | scabsmagooby | 3 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kels | 444 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #2 | CoreDonut | 408 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #3 | JakeyPoo | 250 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #4 | Cammie | 244 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | 样品 | 80 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Haetoon | +2.85 | 86 | 69 |
| #2 | CamDonk666 | +1.00 | 83 | 48 |
| #3 | Grilled Cheese man | +0.78 | 78 | 55 |
| #4 | Cammie | +0.51 | 82 | 52 |
| #5 | JakeyPoo | +0.22 | 61 | 55 |





