








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 40 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
698 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,598 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 778 | 30% |
| Smokes | 758 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 458 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 604 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $126,249 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xulyes | 70% | 23 |
| #2 | Mikallev | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | Risen | 58% | 45 |
| #4 | laloutre | 57% | 23 |
| #5 | NICE team | 55% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | O_o | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Risen | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | NICE team | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Xulyes | 1 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Eau de Javel | 1 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Risen | 297 | 0.33 | 8 min |
| #2 | O_o | 226 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #3 | laloutre | 88 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #4 | NICE team | 86 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Mikallev | 36 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mikallev | +4.31 | 79 | 55 |
| #2 | Risen | +3.52 | 81 | 68 |
| #3 | Sadam Ier | +2.51 | 83 | 64 |
| #4 | laloutre | +2.12 | 86 | 71 |
| #5 | O_o | -1.05 | 79 | 51 |





