








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 113 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
174 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 792 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 261 | 33% |
| Smokes | 266 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 160 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 105 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $153,253 of utility $201 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 46 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hullhulk | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | ekuS | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | 11august | 50% | 4 |
| #4 | kalmaari kalmer | 50% | 14 |
| #5 | Noname | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Veteran | 25% | 4 |
| #13 | Pastapliiats | 25% | 8 |
| #14 | JannoPeeter | 25% | 8 |
| #15 | kiur | 20% | 5 |
| #16 | Suvvar | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zoap | 5 | 0.0336 |
| #2 | kalmaari kalmer | 3 | 0.0107 |
| #3 | KaSt0L | 2 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | lipstik | 2 | 0.0169 |
| #5 | kiur | 2 | 0.0189 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | 92 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| #2 | KaSt0L | 48 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | kalmaari kalmer | 37 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | zoap | 25 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| #5 | Pastapliiats | 25 | 0.18 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Veteran | +4.01 | 67 | 33 |
| #2 | Hullhulk | +3.65 | 64 | 55 |
| #3 | KaSt0L | +3.29 | 86 | 65 |
| #4 | ekuS | +2.82 | 59 | 56 |
| #5 | Noname | +1.64 | 73 | 68 |





