








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
381 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,633 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 603 | 37% |
| Smokes | 365 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 334 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 331 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $161,942 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cerbe | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | noppapro | 100% | 5 |
| #3 | chief | 56% | 54 |
| #4 | rob | 56% | 54 |
| #5 | Guddis Willie🐋 | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cerbe | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | noppapro | 100% | 5 |
| #3 | chief | 56% | 54 |
| #4 | rob | 56% | 54 |
| #5 | Guddis Willie🐋 | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rob | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | chief | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chief | 266 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #2 | rob | 133 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | Guddis Willie🐋 | 20 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | noppapro | 12 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #5 | Cerbe | 7 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | noppapro | +5.59 | 59 | 64 |
| #2 | chief | +3.76 | 88 | 76 |
| #3 | rob | +0.50 | 61 | 62 |
| #4 | Cerbe | -1.38 | 18 | 37 |
| #5 | Guddis Willie🐋 | -2.64 | 40 | 43 |





