








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 237 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 283 matches | ||
| Wingman | 111 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3594 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,941 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3970 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4917 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 2184 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1870 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $796,697 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 219 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | high ass nigga | 60% | 57 |
| #2 | Mike Tython | 57% | 28 |
| #3 | Mussy COLLECTOR | 50% | 111 |
| #4 | PG13Dad۞ | 49% | 177 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | high ass nigga | 60% | 57 |
| #2 | Mike Tython | 57% | 28 |
| #3 | Mussy COLLECTOR | 50% | 111 |
| #4 | PG13Dad۞ | 49% | 177 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mussy COLLECTOR | 19 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | PG13Dad۞ | 15 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | high ass nigga | 3 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PG13Dad۞ | 195 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #2 | high ass nigga | 105 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | Mussy COLLECTOR | 97 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | Mike Tython | 51 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | high ass nigga | +4.77 | 83 | 54 |
| #2 | Mike Tython | +2.04 | 79 | 42 |
| #3 | MZ | +0.84 | 63 | 48 |
| #4 | Mussy COLLECTOR | +0.35 | 62 | 52 |
| #5 | PG13Dad۞ | -0.84 | 34 | 63 |





