








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 344 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 100 matches | ||
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1885 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,792 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1149 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1658 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1547 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1438 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $574,576 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | praktu | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | Zimt ✮ | 67% | 12 |
| #3 | akho29 | 67% | 12 |
| #4 | wipseN:D | 64% | 11 |
| #5 | twitch.tv/t0bs69 | 60% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | ⌖ | 59% | 29 |
| #8 | shift11 | 58% | 19 |
| #9 | Tottii | 54% | 26 |
| #10 | adriaN | 52% | 48 |
| #11 | HoPeLeSs | 50% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | adriaN | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | ⌖ | 4 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | SZYKEN-. | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | HoPeLeSs | 1 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | adriaN | 237 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #2 | SZYKEN-. | 181 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #3 | shift11 | 137 | 0.33 | 4 min |
| #4 | ⌖ | 131 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #5 | Tottii | 104 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | akho29 | +4.92 | 91 | 65 |
| #2 | wipseN:D | +3.06 | 86 | 81 |
| #3 | ⌖ | +1.95 | 80 | 63 |
| #4 | HoPeLeSs | +1.49 | 84 | 79 |
| #5 | JuL1ano | +1.37 | 83 | 69 |





