








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 829 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 274 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 45 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




78 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5644 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,515 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5495 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3990 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 5994 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 6036 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $514,027 of utility $50 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4194 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⌖ | 51% | 227 |
| #2 | biszlu | 48% | 44 |
| #3 | SZYKEN-. | 42% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⌖ | 51% | 227 |
| #2 | biszlu | 48% | 44 |
| #3 | SZYKEN-. | 42% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⌖ | 38 | 0.0084 |
| #2 | biszlu | 6 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | SZYKEN-. | 5 | 0.0095 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⌖ | 846 | 0.19 | 19 min |
| #2 | SZYKEN-. | 85 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | biszlu | 6 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⌖ | +2.66 | 74 | 61 |
| #2 | HoPeLeSs | +1.61 | 73 | 68 |
| #3 | SZYKEN-. | -0.96 | 86 | 67 |
| #4 | biszlu | -3.31 | 63 | 17 |





