










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 482 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 60 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5665 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,841 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4785 | 27% |
| Smokes | 6051 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2800 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 4205 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,260,438 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 484 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Storitz | 53% | 262 |
| #2 | Josh? | 51% | 185 |
| #3 | Set | 44% | 262 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Storitz | 53% | 262 |
| #2 | Josh? | 51% | 185 |
| #3 | Set | 44% | 262 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Josh? | 32 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | Storitz | 20 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Set | 5 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Storitz | 689 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #2 | Set | 264 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #3 | Josh? | 199 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Josh? | +2.48 | 67 | 53 |
| #2 | Storitz | +2.30 | 59 | 53 |
| #3 | Set | +0.40 | 64 | 30 |
| #4 | Fusionz | -1.03 | 68 | 56 |





