








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
626 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,042 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 536 | 26% |
| Smokes | 428 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 621 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 457 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $376,606 of utility $200 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ToL | 49% | 51 |
| #2 | Eleh | 44% | 85 |
| #3 | Juudi | 42% | 72 |
| #4 | mmt =DD | 36% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ToL | 49% | 51 |
| #2 | Eleh | 44% | 85 |
| #3 | Juudi | 42% | 72 |
| #4 | mmt =DD | 36% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eleh | 9 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | ToL | 9 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | Juudi | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | mmt =DD | 4 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eleh | 414 | 0.23 | 11 min |
| #2 | Juudi | 256 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #3 | mmt =DD | 127 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | ToL | 111 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ToL | +1.77 | 73 | 60 |
| #2 | Juudi | +1.08 | 72 | 64 |
| #3 | mmt =DD | +0.70 | 62 | 64 |
| #4 | Eleh | -0.32 | 50 | 67 |
| #5 | Cyrn | -3.17 | 22 | 48 |





