








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 148 matches | ||
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2968 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,149 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1426 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1481 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1629 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1613 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $553,212 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 119 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tr.n2 | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | ♿ E4 | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | Imtheguy8888 | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | Texy 🐱 | 53% | 171 |
| #5 | Bray ❤ | 51% | 150 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Monty | 49% | 179 |
| #9 | dobby is a dumb elf | 38% | 50 |
| #10 | PattyS | 38% | 24 |
| #11 | pixie | 38% | 24 |
| #12 | gxilty | 25% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Texy 🐱 | 9 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Bray ❤ | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Monty | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | pixie | 4 | 0.0076 |
| #5 | dobby is a dumb elf | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bray ❤ | +2.12 | 83 | 55 |
| #2 | Texy 🐱 | +1.67 | 85 | 70 |
| #3 | quaga #roadtobrisvegas | +1.14 | 72 | 56 |
| #4 | pixie | -0.19 | 73 | 65 |
| #5 | Imtheguy8888 | -0.21 | 63 | 57 |





