








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 117 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1464 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,466 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1843 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1026 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1803 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 794 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $534,383 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 178 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | CitronAnkan | 49% | 59 |
| #8 | Snylt | 49% | 45 |
| #9 | Miffosockerbit | 44% | 16 |
| #10 | Llama | 41% | 64 |
| #11 | only | 39% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Llama | 8 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | only | 5 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | CitronAnkan | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Snylt | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Kosken | 2 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Llama | 254 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #2 | CitronAnkan | 126 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | Snylt | 90 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Mr.Pringles | 83 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #5 | SwiftzZ ❤™ | 52 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SwiftzZ ❤™ | +2.55 | 77 | 59 |
| #2 | Greger | +1.46 | 67 | 80 |
| #3 | Snylt | +1.18 | 52 | 64 |
| #4 | Org-S | AXB96 | | +0.96 | 45 | 62 |
| #5 | only | +0.08 | 45 | 39 |





