










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 101 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
178 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 575 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 120 | 21% |
| Smokes | 137 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 164 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 154 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $78,500 of utility $213 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carnifex | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | Noname | 64% | 14 |
| #3 | ✪ Juan | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | Black Hercules ♚ | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | therealdontspot | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Noname | 64% | 14 |
| #3 | ✪ Juan | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | Black Hercules ♚ | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | therealdontspot | 29% | 7 |
| #6 | ataturk peek | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Black Hercules ♚ | 1 | 0.0106 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | therealdontspot | 21 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| #2 | Black Hercules ♚ | 8 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #3 | Noname | 6 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #4 | ✪ Juan | 6 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | ataturk peek | 6 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Black Hercules ♚ | +8.68 | 86 | 45 |
| #2 | Noname | +3.46 | 87 | 26 |
| #3 | Noname | +0.21 | 73 | 64 |
| #4 | ✪ Juan | -0.22 | 68 | 42 |
| #5 | Carnifex | -1.09 | 76 | 57 |





