








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 555 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 520 matches | ||
| Wingman | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




109 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5535 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,584 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6130 | 20% |
| Smokes | 8784 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 7953 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 7717 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,777,836 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 489 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AD | 51% | 109 |
| #2 | ล udu Lazeris | 47% | 108 |
| #3 | Tavo mama ruse | 47% | 136 |
| #4 | p0ssessed | 46% | 39 |
| #5 | ๐Atrabotkeโฅ | 45% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ล udu Lazeris | 47% | 108 |
| #3 | Tavo mama ruse | 47% | 136 |
| #4 | p0ssessed | 46% | 39 |
| #5 | ๐Atrabotkeโฅ | 45% | 42 |
| #6 | Kapitonas Pyderas | 45% | 166 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ล udu Lazeris | 37 | 0.0179 |
| #2 | Tavo mama ruse | 36 | 0.0122 |
| #3 | Kapitonas Pyderas | 30 | 0.0102 |
| #4 | AD | 9 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | ๐Atrabotkeโฅ | 9 | 0.0098 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tavo mama ruse | 607 | 0.21 | 19 min |
| #2 | Kapitonas Pyderas | 381 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | ล udu Lazeris | 331 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | AD | 204 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | p0ssessed | 64 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tavo mama ruse | +4.34 | 80 | 80 |
| #2 | Kapitonas Pyderas | +0.97 | 60 | 56 |
| #3 | AD | -0.22 | 65 | 59 |
| #4 | Milicija | -0.29 | 48 | 65 |
| #5 | p0ssessed | -0.66 | 73 | 73 |





