








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 348 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Wingman | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2417 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,640 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2721 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2261 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2017 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1641 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $794,112 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 159 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | qp | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | DaVinci | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | C L 4 P | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Antex | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | ✪Lou1e✪ | 4 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C L 4 P | 386 | 0.22 | 12 min |
| #2 | DaVinci | 367 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #3 | qp | 243 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | Antex | 191 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | ✪Lou1e✪ | 164 | 0.19 | 4 min |





