








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 650 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 160 matches | ||
| Wingman | 93 matches | ||
| Faceit | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3827 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,161 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3377 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4471 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4966 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 3347 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $952,327 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 342 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wacH7L | 57% | 99 |
| #2 | xxyz | 54% | 79 |
| #3 | aleX300 | 51% | 331 |
| #4 | D0me | 50% | 30 |
| #5 | Bau5tii | 47% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aleX300 | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | wacH7L | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Bau5tii | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | D0me | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aleX300 | 716 | 0.11 | 19 min |
| #2 | wacH7L | 386 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #3 | Bau5tii | 239 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | xxyz | 219 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #5 | D0me | 81 | 0.12 | 3 min |





