








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 876 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 68 matches | ||
| Wingman | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5415 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,952 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6209 | 37% |
| Smokes | 4156 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2158 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 4429 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,444,117 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 776 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Jarn | 45% | 85 |
| #10 | Pitchblack | 43% | 92 |
| #11 | diSEASed | 42% | 33 |
| #12 | Ksifor | 39% | 75 |
| #13 | BOTBOI | Ghost | 31% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᵒᵏ | 10 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Penguin | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | mags | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Pitchblack | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | MontanaUmami | 4 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smi | 514 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #2 | Jarn | 236 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | ᵒᵏ | 224 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | mags | 222 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | MontanaUmami | 91 | 0.07 | 2 min |





