








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 50 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1398 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,649 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1268 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1149 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1389 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 843 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $405,443 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Real Randy | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | Chippy ☘ | 52% | 62 |
| #3 | NAD | 46% | 68 |
| #4 | Runkless | 44% | 18 |
| #5 | ToddyV | 41% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | NAD | 46% | 68 |
| #4 | Runkless | 44% | 18 |
| #5 | ToddyV | 41% | 34 |
| #6 | azy | 36% | 14 |
| #7 | ayo rudeboi | 27% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NAD | 6 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | ToddyV | 4 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | ayo rudeboi | 4 | 0.0122 |
| #4 | Chippy ☘ | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | azy | 1 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chippy ☘ | 132 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #2 | NAD | 104 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | ToddyV | 58 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | Runkless | 36 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | The Real Randy | 29 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Real Randy | +5.20 | 53 | 76 |
| #2 | azy | +1.36 | 76 | 62 |
| #3 | ayo rudeboi | +1.06 | 66 | 59 |
| #4 | NAD | +0.98 | 67 | 64 |
| #5 | Chippy ☘ | +0.95 | 49 | 64 |





