








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 330 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 209 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 87 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3374 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,043 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6127 | 41% |
| Smokes | 4762 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2602 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1552 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $754,665 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 575 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lärareN | 64% | 47 |
| #2 | bp | 58% | 50 |
| #3 | Captain Norway シ | 54% | 26 |
| #4 | Asian Banana | 46% | 70 |
| #5 | Kronkius | 45% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Asian Banana | 11 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | Kronkius | 8 | 0.0122 |
| #3 | lärareN | 4 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Hale:) | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Keezy⭕⃤ ᠌᠌ | 3 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Keezy⭕⃤ ᠌᠌ | 167 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #2 | Asian Banana | 157 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | Hale:) | 140 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | Captain Norway シ | 113 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| #5 | bp | 83 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lärareN | +4.04 | 92 | 56 |
| #2 | Captain Norway シ | +3.24 | 77 | 83 |
| #3 | Seogrith | +1.69 | 56 | 71 |
| #4 | Asian Banana | +0.13 | 46 | 75 |
| #5 | Tebbe | +0.11 | 32 | 54 |





