








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 736 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 495 matches | ||
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 312 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5036 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,995 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3709 | 17% |
| Smokes | 5714 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 7544 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 5028 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,652,128 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 94 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | James | 62% | 34 |
| #2 | Watto | 51% | 67 |
| #3 | L4ma | 50% | 40 |
| #4 | Namyts | 45% | 235 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | James | 62% | 34 |
| #2 | Watto | 51% | 67 |
| #3 | L4ma | 50% | 40 |
| #4 | Namyts | 45% | 235 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Namyts | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | James | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Watto | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Namyts | 863 | 0.17 | 22 min |
| #2 | Watto | 205 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | L4ma | 172 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #4 | James | 109 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | James | +6.35 | 92 | 76 |
| #2 | L4ma | +1.70 | 50 | 79 |
| #3 | Disabled Kitten | +0.14 | 64 | 63 |
| #4 | Watto | -0.34 | 77 | 68 |
| #5 | Namyts | -1.65 | 50 | 62 |





