








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 148 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 87 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1542 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,125 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2103 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1397 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2182 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1443 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $290,565 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 196 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XANAX-UNCLE | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | Rune | 54% | 26 |
| #3 | Okkie | 53% | 47 |
| #4 | ZnK ☕ | 53% | 19 |
| #5 | ✪ Que b | 52% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Que b | 8 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Cheap Whore Patrice | 6 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Okkie | 6 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | Big Black Glock | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Sp4ce | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Que b | 159 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #2 | Okkie | 145 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | Sp4ce | 140 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | Big Black Glock | 130 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | Cheap Whore Patrice | 124 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kulhydrat | +2.59 | 67 | 57 |
| #2 | XANAX-UNCLE | +2.20 | 56 | 64 |
| #3 | ✪ Que b | +1.94 | 77 | 65 |
| #4 | Okkie | +1.19 | 78 | 68 |
| #5 | Sp4ce | +1.10 | 56 | 68 |





