








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 421 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1160 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,567 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 489 | 14% |
| Smokes | 966 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 880 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1232 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,136,507 of utility $287 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 49 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Inge | 35% | 20 |
| #11 | Nuke, Nuke und Nuke | 33% | 12 |
| #12 | Salkin | 33% | 58 |
| #13 | Snek | 29% | 35 |
| #14 | Homiesexual | 23% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snek | 132 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #2 | alxbroken | 128 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | Homiesexual | 117 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #4 | Salkin | 109 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | yapE | 103 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M1ka | +7.91 | 80 | 71 |
| #2 | Salkin | +4.40 | 77 | 64 |
| #3 | Nuke, Nuke und Nuke | +2.52 | 66 | 66 |
| #4 | YeeeeeDino | +2.29 | 47 | 62 |
| #5 | yapE | +1.64 | 66 | 58 |





