








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 601 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 145 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1400 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,062 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1222 | 40% |
| Smokes | 756 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 669 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 415 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,208,378 of utility $312 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | annyeong | 54% | 46 |
| #2 | wave beam | 54% | 72 |
| #3 | TRASHPANDA | 54% | 50 |
| #4 | Lober | 53% | 161 |
| #5 | Danimal | 49% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | wave beam | 54% | 72 |
| #3 | TRASHPANDA | 54% | 50 |
| #4 | Lober | 53% | 161 |
| #5 | Danimal | 49% | 37 |
| #6 | Babaganoush | 48% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lober | 13 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Danimal | 3 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Babaganoush | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | wave beam | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | TRASHPANDA | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wave beam | 249 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #2 | Lober | 229 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | Babaganoush | 132 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | annyeong | 115 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | TRASHPANDA | 88 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lober | +2.22 | 64 | 55 |
| #2 | TRASHPANDA | +0.37 | 56 | 56 |
| #3 | Danimal | +0.34 | 71 | 42 |
| #4 | wave beam | +0.15 | 60 | 58 |
| #5 | annyeong | -0.12 | 47 | 50 |





